The One About…Landlines

My phone rang last week My number is ex directory so I think the angels must have sent it to this one…..

ring-ring

Me – hello

Asian man – Is that Mr Shaw?

Me – No.

Asian man – Is Mr Shaw there?

Me – no.

Asian man – when will he be back?

Me – He won’t, he moved.

Asian man – Do you have his new number?

Me – No.

Asian man – Are you the homeowner?

Me – No, Northern Rock own my home until I’ve paid off the mortgage (can you spot where I made my mistake?)

Asian man – Erm…

Pause.

Asian man – Is the homeowner there?

Me – No, they don’t live here, I do.

Asian man – I need to speak to the homeowner

Me – Ok for the sake of the conversation, let’s say I’m the homeowner.

Asian man – I’m sorry sir, I can only speak to the homeowner.

Me – Look, I AM the homeowner

Asian man – Are you Mr Shaw?

Me – Mr Shaw moved and I bought his house.

Asian man – Are you the homeowner?

Me – Yes, look, are you selling something?

Asian man – No, I have a free gift for you.

Me – But I don’t know who you are and you don’t know me, how can you possibly have a free gift for me?

Asian man – Your number came up on our computer.

Me <click>

Yeah – I was a smart arse then, but its killing me to know what the free gift was.